Life of a Salesman
Many people ask me why I am in Poland today and why did I come to Poland in the first place. The answers to these questions are in this book. It’s a stonking read, but don’t take my word for it… Read the reviews below.
Wry, tongue-in-cheek, this most entertaining and affecting autobiographical memoir tells the story of Rupert Miller, a man born to sell. But like Willy Loman in Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman, or Shelly Levene in Glengarry Glen Ross, the pursuit of a sales career has an unexpectedly high price. Rupert Miller’s tale starts in childhood, his youthful, entrepreneurial spirit fuelling such ventures as ‘Take the Blame’ and ‘Georgieporgiepuddingandpie’, the latter requiring payment in return for kissing girls. An onerous task, indeed. Unhappily, because of his improper banking methods (even then), Rupert’s mother becomes aware of these activities. Swift action by his father dispatches him first to boarding school and then into the military, where the strict Army rules would hinder, but not rule out, imaginative sales opportunities. After a final stint for the Army in Kenya, and some highly amusing stories involving, for instance, a spinach-farting hippopotamus, Rupert finds himself in Eastern Europe selling timeshares in Spain. The awkward 1990’s represent an incongruous mix of Eastern-bloc values and capitalistic tastes, and provide rich material for the author. Here he is just one of a bizarre cast of characters, involving briefcases stuffed with counterfeit notes, Mafia men in blazers and moustachioed female hotel front-desk staff – not to mention the legions of prostitutes, who want nothing but to ‘love you in your room’. Yet for all Rupert Miller’s hugely enjoyable 1990’s tales, tragedies befall the Miller family at home. His beloved brother Julian, a Haemophiliac, develops AIDS due to the then contaminated blood supplies. His father dies suddenly on a road trip to Poland; and his son, Patryk, is born with a life-altering birth defect. But love and stability finally arrives in the form of the beautiful Kasia. Can he, the professional salesman that he is, ‘close the deal’ and make her his wife? A wonderful read that captures vividly the zeitgeist of a changing age in this debut work by Rupert Harry Miller.
My first few hours in Poznan
Passages from Chapter four
So I was off to this place called Poznan somewhere in the middle of Poland in the Eastern Bloc. I knew nothing of Poland except that my late Aunt Jean had fallen in love with a Polish RAF fighter pilot during the Second World War but had been banned from seeing him by her father since the life expectancy of a fighter pilot was measured in weeks. It broke her heart and she took solace in gin which claimed her at only forty-eight. He survived the war. (…)
The train was immaculate as well as punctual, but how could this be in a country that was supposed to be a Third World member? Apparently Stalin used to make unscheduled train journeys in the USSR and if the train was even a minute late he would climb into the driver’s cabin and personally execute him on the spot. (…)
As it was only 9:00pm I decide to have a nightcap in one of the hotel bars. The very moment I sat down two women seemed to materialise out of nowhere. One was about twenty-five, six foot tall, quite pretty and had legs that went on forever. She was wearing a piece of string for a T-shirt and a mini-skirt that made the normal version look like a full-length ball gown. Her ‘friend’ was much older, had a face like a box of spanners, obviously had not had a bath for a decade and her mouth was full of metal. The tall one ran her fingernails across the nape of my neck, put her lips to my right ear and whispered in a heavy Russian accent, “we want to love you in your room.”
Poznan station was very dark, dreary and damp. The vast dirt grey hall stank of urine and vomit. Drunks littered the concrete concourse and I felt in imminent peril as my tweed jacket attracted the attention of the gangs of vagabonds that seemed to be a permanent fixture at railway stations. (…)
Chapters
Pages
Reviews of my book from Amazon
5.0 out of 5 stars | A cracking read. Rupert Miller's optimism and resilience are exceptional. His brother would have been really proud of him. I'd recommend it to anyone.
5.0 out of 5 stars | An excellent read - Rupert Miller's superb account of his life is full of great writing and superb anecdotes and is even more important for highlighting a tragic scandal. Well worth
5.0 out of 5 stars | Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 20 February 2015 A great adventure story with humour and sadness. I cannot wait to read it in Polish, too!
4.0 out of 5 stars | A good fun read with a serious side. Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 19 January 2015 Mostly funny but moving at times.
5.0 out of 5 stars | I really enjoyed reading this book. Funny and fast paced once you start reading it you can't put it down. The scandal of the haemophiliacs being given dirty blood clearly was the motivation for Rupert Harry Millar to write this book. Sad and funny it is truly a great read.
5.0 out of 5 stars | I received this book for Christmas and once I started reading it, I just couldn't put it down. The book is an amazing mix of hilarious anecdotes as Rupert moves through life trying to make his fortune with varying degrees of success, from schoolboy scams to mobility scooter salesman via Eastern Europe - you couldn't write this stuff! On the flip side we get a harrowing insight into the plight of haemophiliacs back in the 80's when Rupert's brother is infected with AIDS by a contaminated blood transfusion which proves to be fatal. After reading the book and realising that Rupert's motivation for writing it was to draw attention to the scandal that took place I watched the videos of Julian as he campaigned for justice while dealing with a terminal illness.If you want to see a courageous, dignified and composed performance, look no further. Truly inspiring.
5.0 out of 5 stars | This book has it all, the terrible truth about contaminated blood with reference to Rupert's brother to the emotional humour of Rupert Miller. As an ex salesman I can equate to Rupert's story and how well it has been written. I could bang on endlessly, but I will simply say READ IT.
5.0 out of 5 stars | A thoroughly entertaining read, quite unbelievable at times that you are reading a true story! Funny, moving, entertaining and rather moving in places. I would definitely recommend this book to most people but particularly anyone in the sales business. Worth taking the time in our busy lives to read.
5.0 out of 5 stars | Great story about tough life, challenges but also full of humour. Big family drama and on the other side touching and very romantic story about love at the first sight. Very good book.
5.0 out of 5 stars | A rattling good read. Very honest and also interesting about the Wild West nature of Eastern Europe 25 years ago.
5.0 out of 5 stars | This book made me laugh and made me cry; an excellent read
5.0 out of 5 stars | Should be required reading for anyone interested in sales or doing business in Eastern Europe. Fascinating insight into a time period rarely covered in print. Rupert's tale is an often-funny ride through a real life and like most lives, his is tinged with both joyous highs and lows filled with pathos. I was surprised at how easily he was able to vacillate between humour, anger and above all perseverance. Well done, Mr. Miller!
5.0 out of 5 stars | This was a fantastic, humorous, fast-paced read and also very moving with the tragic loss of his brother. I learnt a lot about living in Poland and Rupert's lovely romance with Kasia. This is a highly recommendable book choice.
5.0 out of 5 stars | A thoroughly enjoyable, fast paced and often very funny read. I was fascinated by the author's ability to bring life to all the many diverse characters in this story. As a Pole I was intrigued to discover how a foreigner experienced the reality of early post -communism and how well it was observed. In addition, I was greatly moved by the whole haemophilia scandal in the UK and the appalling treatment of the victims. There is definitely something for everyone to enjoy. Worth every penny!
Life of a Salesman
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ul. Ruczaj 4, 62-002 Suchy Las (Poznań), Polska
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